Make Them Yours

For a long time, I went to bed early. It was easier that way. Sleep was my safe haven. My dreams blocked out the yelling and violence of Mom’s boyfriends as they came and went. Lately it’s been a greasy man in his late 30's names James. James and I don’t get along, but Mom says he is different than the others, so I’m trying to get along with him for her sake.

Mom has been having a rough time since the divorce. At first she was just tired and sad, but now she fills the void with abusive lovers and excessive alcohol. I’m still not sure why Dad left. Mom is still as striking as the day they got married. It’s just now, she doesn’t have the same radiance like she used to. When he left, he robbed her of being joyful.

James is home.

He works at the local video store. That’s where Mom met him.

            She could do so much better.

He’s already been drinking. I can smell the alcohol on him before he can manage to stumble past the screen door.

This isn’t good. I rush to my room and close the door as quietly as I can.

The yelling starts.

            Mom cries.

I attempt to block out the sounds of the drunken rampage, but it never works, and this time is no exception.

She doesn’t deserve this.

She yelps again. He’s hitting her.

I know she will forgive him. I’ve lost track of the, I’m sorry’s and I love you’s. I can’t take it anymore. I slowly open my bedroom door and creep to the end of the hall. The shouting gets louder. He sees me. I freeze in terror. His angry words are nothing but a drunken slur. Mom tries to stop him. I can feel the blood pouring from my nose and the sting of fire overcomes my face as I stumble back in shock. Mom is crying. She doesn’t mean for me to get hurt. He takes another hack at my face. I fall. The world is a blur. Suddenly, I am being picked up by men in white. I see the lights, red and blue, flashing through the window. The neighbors are standing outside with big, worries eyes and folded hands.

Noise complaint.

James is going to jail.

He’ll be charged with domestic violence and child abuse.

I can imagine him hearing the ring of steel against steel as the jail cell clangs shut.

Famous Last Line

"He heard the ring of steel against steel as a far door clanged shut."
Richard Wright (1908-1960)
American author of sometimes controversial novels, short stories, poems, and non-fiction.
Publication Date March 1, 1940
The fear, hatred, and anger that racism has impressed upon Bigger Thomas ravages his individuality so severely that his only means of self-expression is violence. After killing Mary Dalton, Bigger must contend with the law, the hatred of society, and his own destructive inner feelings.
I think this book could be interesting, especially with the racial tension that is consuming today's news media.

Famous First Line

"For a long time, I went to bed early."
Marcel Proust (1871-1922)
French novelist, critic, and essayist best known for his monumental novel À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time; earlier rendered as Remembrance of Things Past). He is considered by many to be one of the greatest authors.
Publication Date 1913-1927

Published in English 1922-1931

The novel begins with the middle-aged narrator’s memories of his happy childhood. The narrator tells the story of his life, introducing along the way a series of memorable characters, among themCharles Swan, who forms a stormy alliance with the prostitute Odette; their daughter, Gilberte Swann, with whom young Marcel falls in love; the aristocratic Guermantes family, including the dissolute Baron de Charlus and his nephew Robert de Saint-Loup; and Albertine, to whom Marcel forms a passionate attachment. Marcel’s world expands to encompass both the cultivated and the corrupt, and he sees the full range of human folly and misery. At his lowest ebb, he feels that time is lost; beauty and meaning have faded from all he ever pursued and won; and he renounces the book he has always hoped to write. At a reception after the war, the narrator realizes, through a series of incidents of unconscious memory, that all the beauty he has experienced in the past is eternally alive. Time is regained, and he sets to work, racing against death, to write the very novel the reader has just experienced. In his quest for time lost, he invented nothing but altered everything, selecting, fusing, and transmuting the facts so that their underlying unity and universal significance would be revealed.

I would not read this book, because it seems rather boring to me. Although I did enjoy the first sentence, the rest of the book doesn't seem interesting.

I Write Like

Writers as Readers

1.) When I'm in the mood to read, which isn't often, I can literally be in any position. Whether it's dark or light, if I'm sitting or standing, I could probably read upside down if I was really determined. I think reading is more of a mindset thing. Like if you're in the mood to read, then you will.

2.) I like books about crime. I also enjoy struggle. The two come hand in hand a lot of the time. I like History as well. The reason I like these, are because I can learn from characters mistakes. Even though I don't like reading much anymore, I still enjoy learning. I think aside from your own mistakes, you can learn best from what other people do. I also like political books. I feel like they give a more accurate view of government over just the everyday news. Dr. Seuss once said, "The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." 

4.) When my sister left us I read the book Saving Zoe about 800 times. This isn't exactly my favorite memory, but this book helped me get through her leaving. It helped me forgive her. Instead of being immediately upset with her, this book helped me take a step back and see both sides of the story. This book also helped me escape the reality of living without her. Opening the book made life easier.

6/7.) My mom taught me to really read when I had just turned 4. Before that, I could pick up words and talk really well, but couldn't just sit and read a full book by myself. We were traveling to New York, and my mom sat me down and made me pronounce every word out loud to McDuff. McDuff is a story about a little white westie, and at the time I had a dog named Mackie (Macintosh) who was a westie and looked just like McDuff. I still read McDuff to my sisters every Christmas. Even if I was struggling she made me work through it. After that, something just clicked in my mind and I loved reading. I couldn't put my books down. School has changed that for me though. I don't like reading now because I was forced to do it. I wish I still liked reading.

8.) This is a little cheesy, but I was obsessed with the Series of Unfortunate Events books. I own all of them, and the authors guide. I even got a hat sent to me because I read all the books. I think I enjoyed the books so much because the characters were so different from eachother but still worked together really well. I tried to find a peice of myself in each of them. The books had a range of emotion that kept me turning the pages. I remember finishing the 13th book and feeling like I had lost three of my closest friends. Honeslty, writing this actually makes me want to go back and read them again. They were so good. 

"Don't Quote Me On That..."

"I feel there is nothing more artistic than loving people." Vincent Van Gogh

"Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."

"You don't know distance until you've shared your bed with somebody who's falling out of love with you." Beau Taplin

"Sometimes the worst place to be is in your own head."

"Do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return and you will never be disappointed." Barbara Lowe

"Straight roads do not make skillful drivers." Paulo Coelho

"We tend to become like those whom we admire." Thomas S. Monson

"Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right." Theodore Roosevelt

"My father used to say 'Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument'." Archbishop Desmond Tutu

God is able to do excedingly abundantly above all that we have asked or think. Ephesians 3:20

Caged-Bird Inspired Piece

We all have our own cages.
For some people, it's their job,
relationships,
debt,
family,
expectations,
disabilities,
and even themselves.
Cages are not just physical bars restricting you.
Cages can be extremely mental.
When you feel caged in,
you also feel small.
Helpless.
But the thing about being caged,
is there's always a way out.
Note; I said a way out.
Not an easy way out.
But that't the beauty of it all.
It's not easy,
but struggle helps us grow.
So no matter what's caging you,
Just push through.

Writers Dreaming

4.) Dreams are quite eye opening. What we think about when we aren't really thinking tells a lot about the type of people we are. I don't have multiple dreams I can remember anymore. It's always the same one, and I think that says a lot about me. I'm not somebody who forgets things easily. especially when I feel like I've done something wrong. I dwell on the past and I think my dreams interpret that.
5.) I think the right amount of trauma could cause anyone to go mute. I wouldn't choose to live that way, but you never know what's going to happen. The amount I speak is decided by the people I'm with; if I'm comfortable, I can chat up a storm, but also, if I'm with someone I'm comfortable with, there's no need to fill any silence with necessary talking. If I meet new people, I am more likely to let them do the talking first, because I like to listen and watch so I can get an idea of their personality. Maybe if I listened to the finer things that people don't necessarily say up front, I would learn more. Speaking more can lead to many different positive things: meeting new people, new opportunities, and being an admired leader. But it's good to have balance. Listen to others how you want people to listen to you, and only speak when you have something important or meaningful to say.
6.) I tried learning Spanish, and it didn't really work out for me, but when I went to Brazil for the first time in 2015, I started learning Portuguese so I could communicate with the natives. I went back this summer, and my Portuguese has greatly improved since the first trip. I think it's important to at least attempt to learn a country's language if you are going to be visiting/living there. With that being said, if I stay in America my whole life, and never leave, I should only have to speak English, because that's our language and if anyone wants to come to America they should learn it. It's offensive if you enter another country without any ideas about their culture, customs, and language.
7.) I'm the type of person who remembers the small things. Big events can often become blurry in my mind, but little details stick with me. On top of that, I also remember everything bad or stupid that I've done. Even the tiniest things that don't really matter. I hate making mistakes. Sometimes I wish I had a better memory for the bigger picture. I mean, yeah, it's nice to remember what the 23rd day of 4th grade smells like, but I don't remember most of what happened last week. I also wish I had an easier time forgetting stupid things I've done. If I didn't dwell on the past, I'd probably be happier. The clearest whole events I can remember are things I've done wrong. The look of disappointment and sadness and anger are no easily forgotten. The fuzziest times come after the worst. I don't really ever remember being forgiven for things. I can remember doing them, and I can remember apologizing, I just can't ever recall being forgiven. Maybe this is why I can't forget. You're suppose to forgive and forget, but what happens if forgiveness never comes? Maybe if I could remember that it's okay to make mistakes, I'd have an easier time letting go.

Comments

This is so descriptive! You paint such a vivid picture in the readers mind! I'm quite impressed with your talented writing skills! Bravo!

This was an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. It actually brought tears to my eyes.

Dream Threads

Maybe I will become what some family members always wanted me to be. Coming from a family of doctors is tough when all you want to do is be in the rodeo. I have always loved animals. I have two dogs, one cat, fourteen fish, a snake, and a horse. So maybe, I've come up with a compromise. I saw an injured pig at my last ride, and I knew I wanted to help him. So maybe I will become a farm veterinarian. It's not exactly what my parents want or expect from me, but this is something I can do to make us both happy. It's the best of both worlds. I have learned as I've gotten older, that my happiness is just as happy as theirs. I've decided to take in the injured pig as well. He was my inspiration for this idea anyways, so I feel like I owe it to him. Mom said we have enough animals, but I want that pig.